In today’s world, finding time for anything beyond the essentials can feel impossible. Between running my own business, errands, and the endless to-do list, quality time with kids often gets squeezed out. As a mom of three kids, I find it hard to spend time with my kids and find myself regretting my decision to do all the things I enjoyed. A few years ago, I used to feel like that regularly. I thought, was that the relationship I wanted with my kids? Did I want to look back and regret the moments I missed? So, after years of observing that most kids’ shows are about 25 minutes long, with commercials, I decided on 20 minutes as the attention span for a kid. So, I gave it a shot!
20-minute time slots have worked for us! According to Jessica Alvarado of the National University, “[c] children need high-quality time with parents and caregivers—that is what is most beneficial to children and what can have a positive effect on them as they grow.” It’s about weaving connections into the fabric of your day. Think of it as micro-moments of magic sprinkled throughout your routine.
Here are some ideas to get you thinking about making those 20 minutes count.
Embrace the Everyday
1.) Mealtime Magic: Cook dinner together and turn dinner into a conversation hub. “Sharing experiences not just in cooking, but in and around the preparation of food can strengthen your relationship with your child while also improving mental health, coordination, patience, development and so much more” Stated Chef Kibby. You can also ask about their day, their friends, their dreams.
2.) Bedtime Stories and Beyond: Reading together is a classic for a reason. But even if your kids are past picture books, you can still connect through stories. According to Paradise, “[t]hink about this! When you read aloud, you are teaching your child so much more than just telling them a story. Share memories, tell jokes, or make up silly tales together.” Also, it allows the opportunity to explain more or have them share something they know.
3) Car Conversations and Family Singing: Use car rides as an opportunity to chat. Turn off the radio and engage in meaningful conversations. You might be surprised by what they share when they’re not facing you directly. Also, who doesn’t love a little karaoke! Have everyone pick a new favorite song and let those vocals bolt!
4.) Shared Activities: Even a short game of catch, a quick puzzle, or coloring together can foster connection. The key is to participate actively and engage with your child.
Every child is different. What works for one might not work for another. Pay attention to your child’s interests and preferences. Do they love to talk? Are they more active and prefer playing games? Tailor your 20 minutes to their individual needs. Make it a Habit: Consistency is key. Try to carve out those 20 minutes daily, even when it’s tough. Give yourself permission if you are going through a busy day or two and just get back to it! The more you do it, the easier it will become and the more significant the impact on your relationship with your kids.
The kids even call me out for the time when we go through a dry spell!! You don’t need to be a Super Parent with endless time and energy. By focusing on small, consistent moments of connection, you can build strong, lasting relationships with your kids. Start with 20 minutes today, and watch the magic unfold. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes!
Written with assistance from AI by Gemini
Links:
Alvarado, J. Types for Spending Quality Time with Your Kids
Strengthen Parent-Child Relationships Through Cooking & Food
Paradise, Joe. Kids Are Never Too Old to Be Read to by Parents
