It’s normal to be blue after a divorce, even if splitting up was the best choice for you both. You had a lot of time and a lot of yourself invested in being a family. Everything will be different now, and it can be a big adjustment. But although getting through the holidays when you are newly divorced will be different, it doesn’t have to be painful.
Lean on Your Friends
Everyone is stressed out and busy during the holiday season. True friends will understand that things are extra tough for you this year. Accept help when they offer it, and seek support when you need it.
Maintain Family Ties
Your kids deserve to keep in touch with both sides of the family. Don’t pull the holiday rug out from under them. It’s your divorce, not theirs, so work with your ex to make sure your kids get to see the relatives they love, whether they’re your parents and siblings or your ex’s.
Hold Up Your End of the Bargain
As a Mom, perhaps the most important part of your divorce settlement is the parenting plan, including your custody arrangement or visitation schedule. The benefit of having a parenting plan is that you and your ex should already have agreed on a holiday schedule for your kids.
If your kids will visit your ex during the first holiday season, grit your teeth and comply with the agreement. Don’t hole yourself up alone, either: find meaningful activities, enjoy time with friends, and do something that you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time for.
Start New Traditions
While your kids may want to do things they’ve become accustomed to over the holidays, there’s no denying that things are different now, and they will be from now on. So take the opportunity to establish a few new traditions with your kids.
It could be as simple as a cookie-baking party or making new decorations for the tree at your place. Trying something new while keeping most of your established traditions will help your kids ease into a new type of holiday season.
Get Outside and Help Others
Don’t wallow. Getting through the holidays when you’re newly divorced is easier if you stop making it all about you. Charitable organizations need a lot of help this time of year, whether it’s distributing food and clothing or helping out at holiday bazaars that benefit good causes. Helping others makes you feel better, and it’s a chance to be grateful for what you have rather than what you’ve lost.
Marriage wasn’t easy, and moving on after divorce won’t be a breeze, either. But you can get through the holidays with good cheer and happy kids if you decide to make the most of it and plan ahead.
