What is it that you most want for your life?
It’s a big question, and one that I find most of us don’t ask ourselves often, if ever. It was certainly the case for me for a long period of my life. I was running on a treadmill for decades. In my twenties, I went from one crisis to the next, from the many distractions of early adulthood, marriage, the first taste of corporate career success and, with it, travelling the world.
In my early thirties, it was motherhood, quickly followed by a separation and then divorce.
And just as my career was really taking flight, I was simultaneously navigating my organization’s global merger, finding my feet in a new role in an amalgamated company, and barely surviving as a thirty-two-year-old single mother (but feeling like I was one hundred).
To say it was bone-crushing would be understating it. But I trudged through in survival mode as I thought that was just what was expected — game face on, fake smile intact. I grew up with the guiding rule ‘never let them see you sweat’, especially as a woman at work. Well, they didn’t. Until it all came crashing down.
Two years into my dream role as director of marketing for one of the world’s largest tech companies, and in the midst of another global company transformation, I hit the wall. Flying home from a regular business trip to New York, in an almost perfect moment of clarity, I knew that I’d hit my limit. It was strange because up until that moment, I didn’t even realize I had one.
I’d been a rampant workaholic for more than a decade, driving and striving hard for the next win, the next role, bigger success. I didn’t know there was another option. Wasn’t this how the world of work worked? It certainly looked like it. It was how the leaders in my business behaved. Even the few women led like the men, were always on and never showed any signs of vulnerability. And so, I followed. Until I couldn’t anymore.
The day after I got off that plane, I called my mum on the way into the office.
‘Mum, I just don’t think I can do this for one more minute’, I blurted.
She knew what I was referring to: the endless work hours that often started with frustrated and exhausted tears as I hustled my kid into the car for school after another frantic morning, muttering under my breath for the millionth time, ‘I’m sure as shit not doing this for the rest of my f*cking life!’
I was expecting mum to give me her usual pep talk to get me through my current moment of crisis. But this time, she didn’t. And the words she did say woke me up to the stark reality that I would finally have to deal with.
‘Of course, you can’t, Megan’, she said calmly and matter-of-factly. ‘You have no life.’
And that, right there, was it. Truth spoken. It was like a lightning bolt striking me awake.
Ten minutes later I walked into my CEO’s office and said the words that shocked him as much as they shook me: ‘I’m done.’ Done with the overwork, the hours, the game face, the politics, the feeling like I was a hundred years old, the time being stolen away from my son for things that just didn’t matter at all.
I. Was. Done. With all of it.
It was what Oprah would call an a-ha moment. In that instant, it was life-changing, but not as much as you might think. Because, even though I gave up my coveted job that I’d my worked my entire career to get, negotiated two months off to recover from burnout and then to come back in a new executive role as head of strategy four days a week, it would take me the best part of another decade to get the memo about what it meant to craft a vision for my life that was real, authentic and aligned to the life I intentionally wanted to live.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, I didn’t recover from burnout in two months (I’m pretty sure no one does). It took way longer than that and was yet another example of how disconnected I was from how I had pushed my mind, body, and spirit to the limit.
For the past fifteen years I have been passionately asking women one question more than any other:
What’s the vision you have for your life?
I believe that creating clarity around this question is the most important work that we can do to step into our power as women. When we have clarity on what we want our life to look like and how we want to live it, then we are walking on solid ground. We have our own agenda, our own goals, and dreams that have been visualized, articulated, and formulated.
Here’s how to create your life vision:
Step 1. Calm your energy and tune in
You may want to meditate for five minutes, listen to some inspiring music, make yourself a cup of tea, take a walk, or sit under a tree to connect to nature
Step 2. Reflect on your current life
Clarify your values. Identify burdens. Recognize energy influences. Follow your joy. Define success. Identify obstacles.
Step 3. Envision your ideal future
This is where you get to dream beyond the confines of your current reality and envision a future where anything is possible. Career, personal growth, relationships, health and wellbeing, community engagement, spiritual life, hobbies, financial goals, work-life blend, learning and education.
Step 4. Bringing it to life in the real world
Reflect on resources and constraints, set graceful timelines, be flexible, get support and feedback, plan for challenges, celebrate progress, and create a vision board.
Remember: You can inch yourself toward your ideal life. You don’t have to get there in one go. Small steps, done with intention, create radical results.
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About Megan Dalla-Camina
Megan Dalla-Camina is an award-winning women’s
As the Founder and CEO of Women Rising, she directs her extensive knowledge and passion toward supporting women to create clarity and purpose, build confidence, and become authentic leaders who own their power. Her Women Rising program has empowered over 10,000 women in 63 countries, collaborating with major corporations like Microsoft, Accenture, and BMW.
A best-selling author of four influential books, Megan’s research, writing, teaching, and coaching have not only earned her international acclaim but also sparked vital conversations about women’s roles in leadership and life. She has been honored by the Women’s Economic Forum for her contributions to women’s empowerment, recognized as Woman of the Year and Mentor of the Year by B&T, and won the 2024 Telstra Best of Business Award for Accelerating Women. Her holistic, science-backed leadership and empowerment models encourage women to lead authentically and sustainably and create success on their own terms. Megan has been featured in hundreds of media outlets around the world including Forbes, Marie Claire, CNN, Fast Company, and her weekly column on Psychology Today has more than 2 million readers.
Her latest book, Women Rising: The Forces That Hold Us Back. The Tools To Help Us Rise is set to create a revolution for women on leadership, work, and womanhood. It’s being hailed as ‘life-changing’ and is the manifesto and how-to book that millions of women have been waiting for.
Megan’s commitment extends beyond business; her philanthropic efforts support women-focused charities. She holds two Master’s degrees, in Business Management and Wellness & Positive Psychology, the Inner MBA from NYU, and she is a current PhD researcher in Women’s Spirituality and Leadership at the California Institute of Integral Studies.
